01.11.21 — The Frazzled American News Headline Comedy Review — Transcript

I. Samuel Crozier
8 min readJan 11, 2021


Fallout from Wednesday January 6th, Covid 19 is still in the news, An unorganized America, and the News Media pisses me off.

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In tonight's top story: A Memphis Police Department officer is arrested after allegedly kidnapping and murdering a man while on duty. This news is brought to us by KIRO 7 news, who does not provide statistics on the psychological or hopeful conditions of the local police offices. The story also did not cover possible alternatives to violence for police officers on duty, such as renovation and refurbishing affordable housing or festival arrangement while on patrol location. This news provider sucks.

Link: https://www.kiro7.com/news/trending/memphis-police-officer-arrested-after-kidnapping-murdering-man-while-duty-police-say/ORJA32EAHRESZKHOPLFD3CCP6Q/

In another story from KIRO 7 news, a Florida nurse stole $420,000 in corona virus relief. While people are scared and the relief condition is not a public available option, these chumps are reporting on the most scandalous spectacle. I’m tempted to become alt-right.


Charges are being brought against individuals who, quoted, stormed the capitol building, are flooding the news today as the fallout of Wednesday, January 6th continues to unroll. An Illinois politician caught up in the mix is returning campaign finance; zip-tie guy has been arrested and is from Nashville TN, and months ahead of the Capitol riot, A DHS threat assessment group was gutted. This news is sad and I don’t want anymore.

Link: https://www.fox5dc.com/news/capitol-police-officer-dead-by-suicide-after-responding-to-capitol-riot

Link: https://www.wbez.org/stories/illinois-politician-to-return-campaign-cash-from-ceo-charged-in-capitol-riot/467252da-3441-45b3-8a01-88eb9aea4a28

Link: https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/crime/seattle-man-charged-with-assaulting-a-federal-officer-at-u-s-capitol-siege/

Link: https://globalnews.ca/news/7566687/feds-proud-boys-terrorist-organization/

Link: https://abcnews.go.com/US/months-ahead-capitol-riot-dhs-threat-assessment-group/story?id=75155673

Donald Trump was reportedly turned off by his supporters appearing low class under the riotous circumstances.

Link: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-election-2020/trump-mob-capitol-riots-poor-low-class-b1785099.html

Calls are building for the impeachment of Donald Trump, with the popular support behind the loss of presidential privileges for an Impeached president; including the loss of a presidential pension and secret service protection. There is no news yet for if Donald Trump will need to ‘Check the Box’ for all fuhrer employment.

Link: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-election-2020/trump-mob-capitol-riots-poor-low-class-b1785099.html

The editor at Forbes is threatening a campaign of ‘Truth reckoning’ if any companies hire press secretaries from the Trump administration. I give this a non-plussed Okiedoke. Its about damned time.

Link: https://www.businessinsider.com/dont-hire-former-trump-officials-forbes-editor-warns-businesses-2021-1

CEO of the Right Wing Social Media Platform Parler says that denials of service by Internet hub vendors could end their business. Services Amazon, Apple, and Google have all dropped the content service provider; citing support for violence and, according to a statement from Parler CEO John Matze, responsibility for the events of Wednesday, January 6th. While I am not neutral on the subject, in the same story I want to share a more Anecdotal story. Through Reddit, a small business owner and employer of 10 people, shares a story of a two review campaign against a business that has penalized them into submissiveness. This story is very much like a similar experience of my own and the experiences of a great many Youtubers who can’t create earnestly ruthless content because of the fears of Youtube reporting by otherwise ruthless people. The link will be shared in the transcript. It is my personal opinion that what can only be said is that Big Tech will have this monopoly until there are alternatives to the tech services that don’t indulge in the crazy.

Link: https://deadline.com/2021/01/parler-ceo-says-service-dropped-by-every-vendor-and-could-end-the-company-1234670607/

Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/smallbusiness/comments/kuli7r/how_google_reviews_made_me_a_nicer_person_but/

NPR reports: A Donald Trump employee has been accused of fraudulent money transfer on top of corruption charges laid against him. Making a joke about this would be like punching a child. Its a no holds barred successful fight.


Regarding other Protests:

Washington DC Mayor Muriel Bowser has asked the Acting Secretary of Homeland Security to cancel gathering permits around Inauguration Day following the Riots of Wednesday, January 6th, NBCwashington.com reports. There are 7 protest zones requested, two indentifying as pro-trump or anti-inaugural. Other protests involved are supporting God, Socialism, and Falun Gong. When asked why not one protest organization applied for permit to attack the president elect directly, my imagination reports that Mayor Bowser replied: “Who has the time?”

Link: https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/dc-mayor-asks-feds-to-cancel-demonstration-permits-plan-inauguration-security/2536542/

A meeting between a protest of pro-Trump support and anti-Trump support has created what local police term to be Unlawful Gathering, NBC7 San Diego reports. Political masturbation met unordered lemurism is a hail of rocks, bottles, and pepperspray that can only be described as an orchestra of fiasco, as they rained down on local police separating the two protests. There was no word from local police if there was dancing between the Sharks and the Jets.

Link: https://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local/san-diego-police-declares-protest-at-pacific-beach-an-unlawful-assembly/2491767/

The Trump Administration’s Covid-19 rollout is being criticized this week for promoting crime among this nations wealthy elite — reports NBC4 Los Angeles. Reports indicate that the Wealthy are flying across country to Florida to get black market doses of the vaccine. I don’t blame you Richie Rich. I just didn’t think of it first. But we cannot condone that kind of behavior. Shame. Shame.

Link: https://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/national-international/coming-to-a-black-market-near-you-covid-19-vaccine/2503300/

Virginia Athletics got Technical this week as the Roanoke Times of Christiansburg Virginia reported that the Virginia Tech athletics programs was one of 19 schools who refused to divulge to the New York Times how many of their students became infected with the Corona virus due to sports-related activities. The school cites a mix of federal and state privacy laws for their hesitance to divulge their Covid numbers. When it comes to privacy concerns, Virginia is very technical.

Link: https://roanoke.com/news/local/dozens-of-virginia-tech-athletes-got-covid-19-tech-still-wont-say-how-many/article_912b9eee-4920-11eb-8da5-236fb907604c.html

There are disturbing signs of hyprorisy yet again this week in America as AP news reports that anti-abortion theocrats are turning on their war with the body fundamentalism torward a worship of the Covid 19 vaccine. The story cites no less than 8 centers of anti-abortion campaigning in full support of the vaccine. This news comes following on the heels of the death of one of America’s finest while Blue Lives Matter. His name was Brian Sicknick. All Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter.

Link: https://apnews.com/article/baptist-health-abortion-coronavirus-pandemic-coronavirus-vaccine-8deb3edf4fa590a784e4bfd56a80e8da

The Navajo Nation has been one of the hardest hit regions in America, with over 860 known deaths and nearly 25,000 cases of Covid 19. America does not yet know when the vaccine will go into wider distribution.

Link: https://apnews.com/article/health-arizona-coronavirus-pandemic-dfb003c9f28db78f8ed648d7074d7b23

More news this week in the Modesto shooting of an unarmed clown: Officer Joseph Lamantia is known to have subdued four other people with fatality tactics in the past, making Trevor Seever his fifth fatality. Although Seever fits my definition of a clown, or an impoverished person known for awkward to fathom tactics and settling for less, I must ask: can we get the cops to leave the guns in the car? I’m sure a tazer crossbow would have lower fatality rates.

Link: https://californianewstimes.com/interim-police-chief-says-recent-shooting-of-unarmed-man-was-modesto-officers-fourth-fatality/115053/

There is something going wrong in Aurora Colorado, a Suburb of Denver in which two disturbing police encounters have taken place for Black people. Friday, it was decided that two Denver police officers would not be charged for detaining four girls, on the ground and in handcuffs, one of which was 6 years old, who were with an adult at the time and could not have been faulted for any activities taking place. On the same day, the Colorado attorney general opened a grand jury investigation into the death of Elijah McClain, a 23 year old man described as spiritual seeker, pacifist, vegetarian, sportsman, and peacemaker; ultimately described as gentle. This man was choked out and eventually sedated by officers who later took glory photos of their emulating the actions that killed the young massage therapist. It is little wonder to this joke-writer that Colorado can muster the political unification to change their basest troubles into opportunities, but cannot muster the organization to pay for better — and likely more — teachers.

Link: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/jan/09/denver-police-officers-four-black-girls-elijah-mcclain

Link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Elijah_McClain

Link (Numbers for 2021 are unavailable): https://www.business.org/hr/employees/best-us-states-for-teachers/

Link (Local Numbers for 2021): https://www.salary.com/research/salary/benchmark/public-school-teacher-salary/co

Now for some Uplifting news

The first Awesome Games Done Quick marathon raised over 2.75 million dollars for the Prevent Cancer Foundation. I wish more people were working for games literacy and the awareness that gamers are doin’ pretty ok. I think I’ll do political work for that.


A Canadian guy had a great idea; but I couldn’t get past the idea that the Town in Calgary was named Medicine Hat. How does that work exactly? This Realtor by trade organized local businesses to donate money to resturaunts to be donated to a local foodbank. That’s supporting small businesses.

Link: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/medicine-hat-covid-restaurants-food-bank-hot-meal-project-1.5866901

AP reports: New reform on capital hill will require that shell companies provide the names of their owners, who could formerly act in anonymity. Now all the bribery, drug trafficking, and financing of terrorists should be a thing of the past.

Link: https://apnews.com/article/business-miami-money-laundering-legislation-trump-investigations-1e6c527fafd9e5a7b56af1eff9d3247e

A 9 year old boy in Moody, Alabama managed to get his little sister out of a car before his mother was carjacked for it at a gas pump. It is hopeful and omenous that, at least in the children: Americans are still showing signs of life.

Link: https://abc3340.com/news/local/9-year-old-boy-is-being-hailed-a-hero-after-quick-action-rescuing-sister-in-carjacking

Detroit Free Press reports that Governor Gretchen Whitmer signed a bill Monday to curb or otherwise revolutionize the state of Michigan’s criminal justice system. This is the second time in my few weeks of reporting the headlines that I have been so impressed by officials of Michigan. That really is something.

Link: https://www.freep.com/story/news/local/michigan/2021/01/04/michigan-whitmer-criminal-justice-law-2021/4133842001/

An Unemployed Las Vegas cook has won a million dollar prize in what appears to be Fantasy Football betting game. I applaud all Football fans everywhere for having had this opportunity.

Link: https://www.vsin.com/unemployed-vegas-cook-beats-pros-for-circa-sports-million-ii-title/

In tonight’s final story, Today.com weaves an image of New Jersey representative Andy Kim walking amid the mess of the riots of Wednesday, January 6, picking up bottle and other litter… alone. Clearing away… litter… alone.

Link: https://www.today.com/news/new-jersey-rep-andy-kim-helps-clean-capitol-after-rioting-t205331