01.07.21 — The Frazzled American News Headlines Comedy Review :: Transcript
Contents: Trump loses to his fanbase; Everybody hates them; and you can call me Yesterday’s News
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In last night’s top story: While a legion of voices ring out this morning in a bid to inspire the president’s cabinet to invoke the 25th amendment, Congressional Representative Ilhan Omar, representing Minnesota, has followed through on a threat by officially drafting papers to impeach Donald Trump. This comes after what is described as a chaotic day of armed protesters breaching the capitol building premises, leaving 4 dead and a multitude arrested. My imagination suggests Donald Trump has said in response “I just needed the value of my presidency to drop so I knew I would get the value of my investment back when I sold short.” This story was syndicated by KWWL 7News, an NBC Affiliate servicing the Waterloo Iowa region.
Link: https://kwwl.com/2021/01/07/articles-of-impeachment-officially-drafted-against-donald-trump
Regarding the calls to the 25th amendment, the question I have to ask is if anyone is aware that the call is to install Vice President Mike Pence in the presidents place. Even if I had nothing personal against Mike Pence, he is certainly no Mitch Daniels or Tony Dungy.
Link: https://en.m.wikipedia.com/wiki/mike_pence
Link: https://en.m.wikipedia.com/wiki/mitch_daniels
Link: https://en.m.wikipedia.com/wiki/tony_dungy
For his role in last Wednesday’s loonriot, Donald Trump is rumored to be discussing with his aids the subject of pardoning himself. My own imagination reports that he has said something to the effect of: “There is a difference between having power and using it; when you have it, it sits there doing nothing for you; when you’re using it, you burn it getting yourself out of scrapes… please help me.
Overshadowed tonight by a Monty Python sketch made real; Over some objections from states that no-one will ever hear anything practical from again, Joe Biden has been officially declared the winner of the Presidency of the United States. I for one would like to congratulate the new wet blanket in chief, who’s sexual allegations display a will unable to find a comfort-zone in the power-zone, on becoming first Simp of the United States of America.
In multiple stories:
NBCwashington.com reports that Senator Tammy Duckworth, a senator from Illinois, is laying the foundations for an accusation that the republican party are making their bed with the rapid internet machine of Reddit politics. With a note of sympathy, as I do recall that a Republican will believe in a washing machine politically if it will just get them over the politics of the poets; I must sympathize. I have seen the titties in r/worldpolitics — and I’m fairly certain that abuser to advisory to abuser cycle of hyper-cyclical codependency information hasn’t made not having a structural common-wealth intelligence machine supporting such a faculty; as is the backbone of American democracy; just that much harder. It isn’t time that is a flat circle — it is inaction!
The representative affectionately known to the media as the AOC is calling for the senators Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley to resign this morning, reports Newsweek.com and BusinessInsider.com. Representative Ocasio-Cortez’s claim that it was craven, self-serving actions during the Capitol Siege that led to 4 deaths has not been backed up by any claims regarding how to fix the system. However I am not a stupid podcaster. That is the Area of Conflict. I will not be going in on AOC.
Link: https://www.businessinsider.com/aoc-blames-cruz-hawley-capitol-siege-deaths-calls-them-resign-2021-1
ABC13, an ABC affiliate serving the Houston TX area, reports that two Texas democrats are calling for the resignation of Ted Cruz with the accusation that he acted in Bad Faith. Bad Faith, in its legal definition, means to do business with the full disclosure of all limitations and expectations of business. I do not disagree; that sounds like a wednesday lunch on Capitol Hill.
Business Insider also reports that Joe Scarborough, a host for the broadly acknowledged liberal newsfront MSNBC, ranted Thursday morning that the firebreak of the public security that is the capitol police virtually opened the door for the protesters to siege and loot the capitol building last Wednesday. From atop his ivory tower in the fourth branch of the people’s confidence, Joe Scarborough lambasted the United States police forces for the willingness to use force while nervous about using it upon those that look like them; demanding that the police do the job of the news media and disseminate a diversity of popular opinions to create solutions to government problems.
Link: https://www.businessinsidercom/joe-scarborough-rant-capitol-police-opened-the-doors-video-2021-1
In loosely related news: An Illinois Representative, Mary Miller, told a rally this week that Hitler was right about one thing. There have been calls for her to step down, and I for one agree. When that statement hit the Internet, there were rules.
Link: https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_5ff77f19c5b6c0ae2e738dbc
Social media giants are standing up politically for the belief’s of the masses this week, banning a Donald Trump-supporting lawyer and Donald Trump himself, as Facebook makes my newsroll again. What the Social Media giants have not done is figure out how to roll out a service with a pricetag; and I would think they would be concerned. All jokes aside, my beef with this is not that they censor, as it is lawful to protect oneself from those who break the devil’s legal interpretation of you cannot yell fire in a movie theater, but instead that they have not yet considered a consortium on the matter, although 4chan has long since passed its 10th birthday.
Link: https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/ryanmac/twitter-bans-lin-wood
Link: https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2021/01/07/trump-twitter-ban/
In unrelated news:
SFGate.com reports: The NYPD have sent two detectives across the country to California to extradite a woman caught on Camera trying to steal a child’s cellphone. Miya Ponsetto, now regarded as the SoHo Karen, assaulted a 14 year old boy at a Manhattan hotel while his father did what he could to fight her off. It was later revealed that she had left her phone in an Uber. It is not certain if any charges will be brought against the hotel manager who attempted to leverage his pressures of position and age against the child in taking the woman’s side.
Fox45 Baltimore reports: Baltimore Mayor Brandon Scott became a meme. Pull ya mask up! People are dyin!
Between the pipebombs and the corona virus and the monarch butterflies, all the rest of the news is too sad.
On to some uplifting news:
Two guys in Mexico have created vegan leather out of cactus produce. It makes a nice opener. I’ll take some Mexican vegan leather.
Link: https://avacadobox.space/2021/01/07/two-guys-in-mexico-just-created-vegan-leather-from-cactus/
Amazon pledges $2 billion to affordable housing, including $185 million for apartments. It’d be nice if the plan found a way to integrate economy and walkable neighborhoods, but I guess its the thought that counts.
Some information that’s something like an advertisement: Berkley University appears to be doing a magazine called Greater Good magazine, a resource that turns scientific research into stories and lifetips. I am not being paid to sponsor them, but I will be sponsoring them for some time into the future. That’s greatergood.berkley.edu.
A horse, a dog, and a pony are best friends and they look alike, and that’s the end of the news today. If you want a link to a picture, or any of the links to stories I have shared herein, you can find them at my medium, isamcrozier.medium.com.
https://metro.co.uk/2021/01/05/horse-dog-and-pony-are-best-friends-and-look-like-siblings-13849616/
